


A Cliché is a Cliché Because it Works

by Jeanshard



Series: A Commitment to Excellence [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cliche, Communication Failure, Fluff, Fuckbuddies, Lack of Communication, M/M, Merlin sleeps around, sexual identity crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 10:52:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5087869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanshard/pseuds/Jeanshard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Merlin and Arthur have is casual. Totally casual, completely causal and only casual. And that's fine, it's all Arthur needs.</p><p>Only it isn't</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cliché is a Cliché Because it Works

**Author's Note:**

> OMG where have i been  
> lifes been mad so sorry for being absent and lazy!!
> 
> I have so many WIPs in progress but just finding it difficult to nail things down, y'all know how it is!
> 
> Hope this is at least a little enjoyable :)

Arthur arched his spine back, lifting himself off the mattress with a groan. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his legs, feeling smug as he did so. He pulled the condom off, leaned over the bed to throw it in the bin then began to rattle around in his bedside cabinet.

Beside him, Merlin huffed. He tried to pull the blanket out from under Arthur, but Arthur didn’t move to help him. Merlin moaned, but he gave up and rolled away off the bed.

“Pass my jacket, would you?” Merlin said, flicking his wrist.

“Fuck off.” Arthur snapped, still looking through the messy sets of drawers beside his bed. Arthur’s room was tidy, his father made sure the entire house was kept spotless. The maid came in to Arthur’s room at least three times a week, and this drawer was the only place Arthur could keep secrets.

“Rude.”

“I’ve told you a billion times, you aren’t smoking in here.” Merlin didn’t even respond this time, just let out a happy cry as he found his jacket. Merlin always wore the same black leather jacket that was far too big for his skinny frame. It was probably supposed to make him look angsty and moody and sexy, but he looked more like a child in their parents clothing. Arthur knew that in the left jacket pocket there was always, always a pack of cigarettes. If Merlin was ever outside, there would be a cigarette between his lips and he’d be wearing the jacket like it was a cape.

“But we were smokin’ right there.” Merlin giggled, laughing at his own tragic joke like it was funny. The switch he went from in a fraction of a second, sex crazed wannabe porn star to pun loving loser, always left Arthur with whiplash. Merlin was like eight people in one and Arthur didn’t know how to deal with seven of them. Arthur rolled his eyes, but didn’t argue. “Come *on.*” Merlin whined, jabbing Arthur in the side.

“My dad will kill me if he smells smoke in here.” Arthur argued back, solid in this rule. Merlin seemed to break all the other commandments, but Arthur would stick to this one. 

“It’ll cover up the smell of sex.”

“Second hand smoke kills.”

“Cry baby.” Merlin accused, before letting out a huff. “Really, you’d love a cigarette after sex, it’s a cliché for a good reason, you know.”

“You’d be the expert.” Arthur grunted back, finally finding what he was looking for in his drawer. Underwear, Merlin had left them last time. They were black boxers, they were soft and smelled slightly of Merlin. Arthur had been tempted to keep them, but it seemed creepy and pervy and strangely sentimental and that wasn’t what he had with Merlin.

“On what?” Merlin replied, affronted. 

“Sex and clichés.”

“That would be a good band name.” Merlin grinned. He began to shuffle about, and Arthur closed his eyes when he realized Merlin was leaving. Arthur wondered if Merlin was like this with all his other lays, if he ran out the second his breathing calmed, or if he waited round and snuggled. The idea of Merlin drowsy, curing up into a cuddle with anyone, made Arthur laugh. Merlin definitely cut and ran as soon as the cum dried, Arthur was sure of it. “What are you laughing at?” Merlin asked, seeing Arthur grin. Arthur grunted, there was no way he could tell Merlin why he was laughing.

“Here, you idiot.” Arthur chucked Merlin’s underwear at his head, grateful for a distraction. Merlin yelped, and gave Arthur a glare through one of the leg holes. The effect was somewhat lost in Arthur’s laughter. 

Merlin rolled his eyes, balled his underwear up and scrunched it into his pocket. It was a movement he looked far too comfortable doing. Merlin dragged his massive jacket over himself and began digging around for a cigarette. As his hands dug in his pockets, he turned away from Arthur and began to walk off.

“See ya soon, yeah?” He asked, turning round and giving Arthur a bit of a nervous grin. He seemed strangely cautious, and he had never been anxious around Arthur before.

“Sure.” Arthur said it back, slowly, because of course they’d shag again. It was the most obvious thing in the world.

***

One time, Merlin sucked Arthur off at his maths desk. Ever since then, Arthur had found it particularly difficult to give maths any real attention.

Arthur groaned, eye lids feeling heavy as Mr Terth went over differentiation or integration or divination. Arthur wasn’t sure, he was fighting a losing battle for staying invested in his maths. Every time Mr Terth took a breath, Arthur remembered staying late for detention and feeling Merlin tease him from under the desk. Arthur started picturing Merlin’s whore mouth sucking him, swallowing everything down and leaving detention an hour early with a satisfied smirk on his face.

It was one of Arthur’s best memories, but unfortunately it left him with a large bugle in his jeans that would be very difficult to explain away. As he shifted his seat, he wondered if getting a hard on in class was an offense worthy of expulsion. It was at least bad enough for a phone call home, and he couldn’t handle that.

He took his phone out, putting little effort into hiding it. Mr Terth was too involved in his own voice to notice Arthur slacking off. Even so, Mr Terth had been a teacher for so long that he didn’t particularly care anymore, anyway. He started texting Merlin, seeing as it was Merlin’s fault that Arthur was hard Merlin should fix the problem.

//To: Merlin  
You’ve made me get hard in maths. Maths. Maths.//

Arthur didn’t have to wait long for a reply, Merlin was probably skipping whatever subject he was supposed to be in.

//From: Merlin  
Without evn tryin! Or hav u got a thing for oap maths teachers with nose hair?//

Arthur burst out laughing, a few pupils turned to stare at him but Mr Terth didn’t falter.

//To: Merlin  
It’s a specific fetish and I’d like you to help remedy it.//

//From: Merlin  
U askin for roleplay? Here i thought u wer vanilla//

Merlin texted like a chav. Arthur had to put up with a hell of a lot to get the best orgasms known to man kind, and sometimes he wasn’t even sure if it was worth it.

//To: Merlin  
How the fuck can you think we’re vanilla? Was last Wednesday vanilla??//

Arthur was certainly not vanilla. He watched some pretty hard core stuff, and he and Merlin had definitely done some risqué things. For Christ sake, any kind of gay sex could not be called vanilla when they were both in High School.

Arthur found himself strangely offended. Clearly, he and Merlin needed to meet up as soon as possible to rectify the faulty opinion Merlin had developed.

//From: Merlin  
I hve so much to teach u.//

Arthur grinned, and slipped his hand down to rub at his crotch. Nobody was watching him, he was relatively sure. Hell, he didn’t care if they were.

Arthur groaned, rolled his neck back, and didn’t care if people were staring. The idea got him a little bit hot, if anything. He liked people desiring him, he wanted to be wanted. And almost all of them did. He always felt eyes follow him around the room and he lived for it. His conversations were always filled with innuendo, flirting was constant, half promises and propositions were constant.

Merlin was different. Merlin wanted him, but Merlin wanted everyone. To Merlin, Arthur wasn’t all that special. No more special than anyone else was. Merlin didn’t treat Arthur like he was different or to be cherished or worshipped. He made Arthur stop the crap and slow down and properly work for things. He made Arthur see himself for what he was.

That wasn’t what Arthur wanted to think about now. He didn’t want to go through the intricacies of their… thing. He wasn’t wanting to wind himself up and look for something else in his situation with Merlin. They were what they were. He was just a casual fuck to Merlin. That was fine. Great, even.

//To: Merlin  
Third floor bathroom. Ten minutes.//

Arthur stood up, shrugged his bag on and didn’t bother make excuses to Mr Terth. Arthur knew fine that Merlin would be in that bathroom in at least ten minutes, and Arthur wasn’t wanting to waste a second of it.

***

Arthur walked in to the changing room, feeling his legs scream at every step. He’d been fine in the gym, his training regime had been bumped up today and it had made Arthur insanely excited. He love physical exercise, loved the burn in his legs and the strain of his lungs. Tomorrow he’d be so stiff he’d be walking like a cow boy and Merlin would take the piss out of him.

Arthur rolled his neck. He’d spent the last two hours of his school day in the gym and stayed half an hour later too. It was strange to see the school this empty, but the again everyone probably took their Friday afternoon and ran home with it.

He went in to the changing rooms and froze. He heard voices, to guy’s voices. In all honesty, that shouldn’t be weird. It was just that Arthur knew who the voices belonged to.

“C’mon, Merlin.” Valiant sounded like he was groaning. Arthur cringed, and he wanted to turn away and run home. If Merlin was in the changing rooms with a guy, they were fucking. And it wasn’t like Merlin wasn’t allowed to do that. Well, in public it was probably illegal. But it wasn’t as if Merlin had any reason not to sleep with other guys. And Arthur didn’t care. He didn’t care at all!

He just, didn’t really want to see it any more than necessary. Instead of walking to the showers, Arthur fell back behind the cinder block wall to listen.

“I said no, Val.” That made Arthur’s ears prick. He’d actually never heard Merlin say no, and never heard of Merlin saying no.

“Merlin, c’mon!” Valiant was probably trying to be charming, but he sounded whiny as hell. “What’s gotten in to you? You never want to fuck anymore.”

Merlin and Arthur had fucked last night.

“Focussing on exams and stuff, Val.” Arthur was surprised that Merlin didn’t reveal the ties he had to Arthur. Arthur had never told anyone himself, although some of his closest friends probably knew. It didn’t *have* to be secret, Arthur could probably handle people knowing.

He was more comfortable in the closet, though.

“That’s a load of shit, Merlin, you’re never in your classes.”

“You stalking me or something?”

“I’ll do what it takes, yeah?”

“Creepy, mate.” It sounded like someone had started to walk away, probably Merlin, but then the sound of something hitting metal filled the room. “Fuck off Val, yeah?”

“C’mon Merlin! Just suck me off, right? I’ve got huge fucking blue balls.” Arthur heard a grunting sound, and Merlin said no again, and that was all it took for Arthur to run out from his hiding place and through the changing room doors properly.

“Hi lads.” Arthur saw Merlin pinned to the wall, Val pinning him in, and it made Arthur’s fists clench and blood boil. Merlin looked angry and even a little scared for a second, and he’d never seen Merlin look like that. Arthur had never felt so angry in his entire life. “What keeps you late on a Friday night?”

Valiant looked at Arthur, then back to Merlin and sneered. Valiant pushed his face right up to Merlin’s, and Arthur stepped forward.

“Fucking *nothin’*.” Valiant sneered. Then he pushed Merlin back further into the metal lockers and stalked off. 

Arthur immediately rushed up to Merlin.

“Merlin, Merlin are you ok?” Merlin looked up at him, and he frowned at Arthur before pushing his hands away. Arthur didn’t even feel offended, just concerned.

“Fine. It was nothing.” Merlin shrugged Arthur away from him entirely. Merlin stared trying to sort himself out, but his hands were shaking so bad that he couldn’t manage to sort the zip on his jacket or flatten his own hair.

“That was not nothing! You should report him! He could have-”

“He wasn’t going to. He would have stopped.” Merlin sounded angry, embarrassed. He looked up and could tell that Arthur didn’t believe him. “He thought I was sat waiting for him. That’s why he was so pushy. Thought it was a game.”

Arthur frowned.

“Why were you here, anyway?” Merlin wasn’t sporty. Merlin wouldn’t stay late at school if he didn’t have detention. Hell, Merlin skipped most Fridays. Arthur couldn’t think of any reason Merlin would be hanging around late after school.

“For you, idiot.” Merlin spat, as if Arthur should have been able to guess that easily.

“Oh. Right.” Arthur thought that was really strange. If Merlin was desperate for a hook up, he could get it anywhere. Hell, he could have just gotten fucked by Valiant. It didn’t make sense to Arthur.

Merlin was looking down, he wouldn’t meet Arthur’s eyes and his skin was red. He was ashamed. The locker room was silent and it felt so heavy between them and Arthur couldn’t stand it.

“So, obviously you were lying before. When you said that sweaty athletes weren’t your thing.” That made Merlin smirk. “Here you were, desperately waiting for me to come back in my exhausted glory- Ouch!” Merlin was laughing now, but he’d given Arthur a shove in the stomach.

“Maybe I was planning on taking naked pictures of you in the shower and spreading them round school.”

“You exhibitionist you.” Arthur leaned in closer to Merlin. “What a kind soul, giving the people of Camelot High what they want.”

Merlin shoved Arthur back even harder this time, and Arthur almost fell to the floor. His heart leapt in to his mouth, but then Merlin reached his arm out and pulled Arthur right back up again.

Arthur’s heart sped up, but he told himself it was from the fear of falling to the ground.

***

“You going to prom?” Merlin sounded almost casual, but there was something to his voice.

“Obviously, Merlin.” Arthur didn’t even look away from his phone. His messages were piling up, he’d been ignoring it for the last few hours in favour of the things Merlin had been doing with his mouth. Now Arthur had, what felt like, hundreds of notifications and people vying for his attention. Arthur was letting too many things slip lately, getting distracted by Merlin. 

“Going with anyone?”

That did manage to make Arthur look up from his phone.

“*Obviously* Merlin. I’m the most desirable guy in school.” Arthur rolled his eyes then immediately went back to texting, messaging and snapchatting. He had to try and frame the pictures in a way that didn’t show how messy his room was or show that there was another person on the bed beside him. He couldn’t take photos of his own face, either, because Merlin ripped him to pieces when he saw Arthur take lots of pictures of himself.

“You are not even kidding right now! You just said that about yourself seriously with no issue!” Arthur didn’t need to look at Merlin to know the expression that would be on the pale boy’s face. His jaw would be swinging open and his eyes would be glittering, delighted and horrified at Arthur’s eager. Honestly, Arthur hadn’t exactly meant it as the exact truth. He just liked to get the reaction from Merlin. “Your ego has surpassed the measurements of science.”

“Guess that’s what I keep you around for then.” Arthur puffed.

“And here’s me thinking I was just a pretty face.” Merlin was probably grinning, and he threw himself deeper in to Arthur’s bed. It made Arthur pause, they’d both stopped cumming over an hour ago and Merlin was still curling up in the duvet. “Who are you going with, then?”

“Haven’t decided.” Arthur shrugged. “Maybe Vivian. Or Elena. Or Gwen, I heard her and Lance were on the outs.” Merlin had gone very quiet beside him. For some reason, it made Arthur uneasy (he should have been grateful for the quiet, really). He kept on talking, eager to fill the quiet that was trying to swallow them both. “Times like these I wish I had a girlfriend, really. I mean, it’s not too late, is it? Loads of girls must find me attractive. And it’s probably keep Uther happy if I got a decent girl to keep around.”

“Why is it always girls?” Merlin had sat up again now, and he was staring at Arthur. Arthur refused to meet the gaze. “Why do you always talk about needing some girl like an accessory?”

“What?”

“Well, I mean, you don’t need a date. People go stag. Uther wouldn’t care that much as long as your grades are good and you’re applying to university. But you always act like you need a girlfriend ‘cause it’s a thing that people just have.”

“It is, Merlin, for most of us.” Arthur couldn’t be arsed explaining social conventions to Merlin, he didn’t have the time or the patience. You’d need the patience of a Saint to try and teach Merlin these kinds of things. “You take a girl to the dance, Merlin, that’s how it works.”

“I’m not.”

“Well that’s because you’re *gay* Merlin, for God’s sake.” The thought of Merlin awkwardly tipping up to the dance with a girl actually made the corners of Arthur’s mouth twitch. Actually, the idea of Merlin at the school prom all together made Arthur grin. He’d never seen Merlin in anything other than jeans, ratty converse, too big Tshirts and that cracked leather jacket. Merlin in a suit would be… ridiculous. Merlin would probably wear a brown corduroy monstrosity with a yellow shirt and a green tie. Or…

Something in Arthur twinged. Merlin in a well-fitting, grey or black suit with a blue tie… that was a different image. Merlin in a tailored waistcoat and a pressed shirt, well that was a different image entirely. It made Arthur suddenly flush, even though there was no reason to be embarrassed around Merlin. Merlin was an idiot.

“Hate to break it to you Arthur, but you’re hardly mister hetero yourself.” Merlin had probably meant it to be a joke, but it got Arthur’s back up. Arthur wasn’t keeping his sexuality a secret, not exactly. If people asked him he’d answer. But Arthur wasn’t even sure what he was yet! Sometimes he wanted to fuck girls and fuck boys, sometimes he didn’t want either. He thought some guys were fit but the only one he ever had anything sexual with was Merlin. The only one he ever really wanted anything sexual with was Merlin.

Arthur wasn’t ready for everything that came along with that, not yet.

“You’re hanging around a lot lately.”

Merlin froze, he went totally rigid beside Arthur.

“Is that a problem?” Merlin sounded strangely nervous, and it made Arthur frown.

“I mean… it’s not a *problem*.” Arthur shrugged. He looked around his room, it was messy and he had homework and his dad would be home soon and he was meant to be meeting his friends and Merlin was getting in the way with Arthur dealing with all of that. Merlin seemed to be getting in the way of a lot of things in Arthur’s life. “Just weird, I guess.”

“I…” Merlin stood up then, and he turned away from Arthur entirely. He seemed to be wringing his hands. “Why’s it weird?”

“Well, I mean. You hang out. After. You didn’t use to hang out after.” Arthur suddenly felt strangely uncomfortable in his room. His phone didn’t sit right in his hands, the place felt too small, he felt alien. “It’s… weird.”

“Weird?” Merlin stood up then, and he turned his back to Arthur and the bed and seemed to be heading for the door. “Weird. It’s weird.” Merlin almost seemed to be speaking to himself. He bent down to shirk himself in to his jeans without even stopping on his way to the door. Without looking back to Arthur, he grabbed his leather jacket from the floor and kept walking. Without his Tshirt.

Just before he opened the door, Merlin turned back to stare at Arthur in the face. He looked strange, his face so different from any other way Arthur had seen it before.

“So weird. Not different or anything. It’s weird?”

Arthur really didn’t know what to say. Merlin was acting so strange, Arthur had no idea what to say to him. For the very first time in the entire time he’d known Merlin, Arthur didn’t know what to say back. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a strange squeak.

“Right. Weird. Alright.” Then Merlin was gone, so quickly there might as well be a cartoon dust cloud left behind in his shape. He’d left in such a rush that he’d left behind his Tshirt on the floor.

***

Arthur had been in a foul mood for the last two weeks. 

He also hadn’t heard from Merlin in two weeks, but those two events were completely unrelated.

The only time he’d properly seen him was when Gwaine and Merlin had come out of the boy’s changing rooms together, giggling and pawing at each other like newlyweds. Arthur wasn’t crazy, he wasn’t imagining things. He and Merlin had shagged in the changing rooms plenty of times for Arthur to recognise the signs.

It was *fine*. It wasn’t like Arthur *cared* or anything. He knew Merlin slept around. That’s why he and Merlin started in the first place. Arthur had been wondering about… guys and Merlin had seemed perfect. Trustworthy, a few of Arthur’s mates had been with him and said Merlin was great. Great in bed and never breathed a word of it. And Arthur had been so bloody curious and he’d seen Merlin at a party one day and just gone for it.

In all honesty, Merlin had sounded like a bit of a prostitute. He wasn’t, but it was a fantasy that he and Merlin had acted out a few times. Merlin was just a bit of a slag, really. Said he loved sex and had a crazy drive for it. He used to wind Arthur up sometimes, tell Arthur that there were so *many* bi curious guys in the school but he’d never say who. Arthur would never admit he was jealous, Merlin probably thought Arthur wanted to shag the other guys himself.

He’d only wanted to shag one person for a while now.

Arthur shook his head, angry at himself for being so pathetic. Merlin was ignoring every attempt Arthur made to contact him. Arthur had even tried to call Merlin but he’d seen sent to voicemail. And Arthur didn’t call anyone, ever, he didn’t have the time for it.

Merlin had moved on, and Arthur would to. In fact, there was nothing to move on from! He didn’t have *feelings* for Merlin. He was just sad to lose his regular booty call.

Arthur shook his head, still seeing Gwaine and Merlin every time he closed his eyes. Yeah, there was nothing at all for Arthur to be hung up on. Nothing at all.

The only reason that Arthur was still even calling Merlin was because he wanted to give Merlin his shirt back. It annoyed the hell out of Arthur, seeing it on his floor every day. He’d had to hide it in his drawer so the sight wouldn’t drive him mad.

It wasn’t like Arthur had put it in his drawer to stop it from getting washed, to make sure it kept smelling like Merlin did. That would be pathetic.

***

“You enjoying yourself, mate?” Gwaine asked and clapped Arthur’s back. 

Arthur really wasn’t enjoying the dance. He was trying to, and it should have been easy. The canteen had been covered in streamers and tinsel, the music was loud and thudding. There was a buffet table of food set out and all of Arthur’s friends were here. Arthur had spent most of his night hanging around near the punch bowl and getting in there as soon as someone spiked it. Vivian wasn’t being too clingy or too annoying, either.

It was basically everything Arthur could have hoped the prom would be. 

“’Cause you look *fecking* miserable.” Gwaine had the fucking nerve to grin as he was speaking. It was Gwaine’s fault that Arthur was having such a bad night.

“You and Merlin seem to be having a good night.” Arthur couldn’t help himself. He could feel Gwaine looking at him and grinning but Arthur really, really couldn’t react.

“Aye. Merlin’s a laugh.” Gwaine stretched back further onto the tables, leaning on his elbows. Arthur wished the table would tip over and cover Gwaine in the punch. “So, Merlin and me. That the reason you’re having such a bad time?”

“Hardly.” Arthur tried to make it sound like Gwaine had made the most ridiculous suggestion in the world. 

“You know, I don’t know if I should actually tell you this.” The table began to creak under the strain of Gwaine. “But he’s not all that happy seeing you and Vivian.”

“Merlin doesn’t care.” Arthur wished he’d bitten his tongue. He shouldn’t have engaged with Gwaine’s comments. Gwaine was probably just over here to brag about having Merlin all to himself when Arthur couldn’t manage it.

“Are you honestly stupid?” Gwaine stood up then and raised his fist to tap it on Arthur’s forehead. Arthur wanted to raise his own fist to knock Gwaine out. “Come on mate, don’t be an idiot.”

Gwaine and Arthur usually got along pretty well. They were team mates, after all, a friendship had to bond over that. And it was Gwaine who had told Arthur to go for Merlin in the first place. Gwaine had said that he and Merlin were only friends back then.

“Chrissake, Arthur. Why do you two make things this fecking complicated?”

“Gwaine, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Arthur was really, really not in the mood for Gwaine’s crap. Arthur had been trying to drink the punch all night to get drunk enough to perk himself up and it hadn’t worked. “If you’ll excuse me…”

“Stop being a wanker.” Gwaine pulled Arthur back by his arm and he’d lost all the humour from his voice. Arthur had never seen Gwaine look serious before and it almost frightened him. “You care about him and he cares about you. Why’re you fucking that up?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Merlin’s my best mate in the world and you’re easy to read. Stop being a prick, yeah?” Gwaine squeezed Arthur’s arm and disappeared into the crowd.

Arthur kept glaring at the bundle of bodies, staring at the people dancing as if they’d split apart so he could see Gwaine. Gwaine was an arse, he had no idea what he was talking about. 

Arthur huffed, and started making his way outside. He needed fresh air. He needed to be away from the heat and the intensity inside. He shoved the glass doors open and almost fell outside. The cold knocked the air from his lungs and cleared his head so quickly he felt like a new person entirely.

It was so cold outside, Arthur knew he should go in and look for his jacket before he got hypothermia. Instead, he sat himself down on a bench and stared out to the sky, past the car park and further than the school gates. It was beautiful outside, the darkness made Arthur feel calm and anonymous. He felt his body stretch out and he *breathed* properly for the first time in, what felt like, ages.

It should have smelt like cold, the air should have been sharp enough to sting. Instead, he smelt cigarettes. Arthur looked down to the grass beneath the bench and saw footprints leading further away from the school. Arthur looked up, squinting his eyes to try and make out what the lump in the darkness was.

The shape moved then, face catching the light as the cracks in their black jacket became clearer.

“Merlin?”

The figure flinched, and Merlin jumped up, probably terrified.

“Bloody hell!” He snapped. Smoke was tumbling from his fingers as he tried to wipe the wet grass off himself. Merlin started walking towards Arthur, head shaking. “Fright of my life, you just gave me.”

“What are you doing out here?” Arthur went to stand up, but Merlin plonked himself down on the bench before Arthur got the chance. “Why were you sat on the grass, you idiot?”

Merlin shrugged.

“Felt nice. I like the cold.”

“Like ruining your tux by getting it damp, do you like that too?”

“Bloody he you’re a kill joy.” But Merlin was grinning even as he spoke. “What about you, why’s Camelot’s darling sat out here all alone?”

“I’m not alone.”

“You thought you were. Smart arse.” Merlin knocked his shoulder against Arthur’s and grinned. 

“I dunno. Didn’t like it in there, I suppose.” Arthur looked up at the sky again, leaning over backwards so his neck strained. “Thought you were in there having a laugh with Gwaine.” Maybe Arthur was drunker than he’d realized.

“Yeah, Gwaine’s fun. A good mate.” Merlin and Arthur sat in silence. Arthur wanted to ask more, he wanted to know where Merlin drew the line. He wanted to know what a mate was for Merlin, if he and Arthur were mates or less or maybe more. “He made me come tonight, you know. Said I was wasting my whole life sat doing nothing.”

“Does Gwaine think that one school dance is going to stop you from wasting your life?”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m sure you didn’t mean it.” Merlin grumbled. Arthur wasn’t sure which part he didn’t mean, because Merlin was wasting so much of his life and he really didn’t seem to care. “No reason you’d care.”

“That’s not true Merlin.” Arthur did care, he cared so much. It filled him up sometimes. He’d swell up and he’d think about Merlin and worry about him and want to see him. He’d be bursting at the seams with Merlin and he was afraid it would all explode one day and ruin everything.

It was silent again. Arthur’s head was swimming and it was with more than the small amounts of diluted alcohol in the punch. Suddenly he couldn’t stand the distance between himself and Merlin. He curled his hand around Merlin’s chin, pulled their faces together and kissed him.

God, it was a cliché, but every time they kissed Arthur felt fireworks. His skin tingled and his heart skipped, he was nervous and excited and every, single time it made his head spin. It was all a cliché and Arthur loved it.

Merlin came up for air first, and that in itself was unusual.

“What, Arthur we’re in public, people could see-” He was broken off when Arthur went right back to kissing him. “mmph, Arthur!”

“Don’t care.” Arthur pulled back and stared into Merlin’s eyes, as best as he could in the darkness. “Don’t fucking care. We’ve done more in public before.”

It made Arthur’s heart stutter when he saw Merlin blush.

“Don’t care who sees us.”

“You don’t mean that.” Merlin whispered, and he closed his eyes and curled into himself. “You’ll come back down to reality and you’ll be terrified that someone will see.”

“Merlin-”

“Seriously, Arthur. I can’t do this anymore.” In that second, Arthur felt his heart shatter. Merlin was finished with him, he’d moved on to better things. Arthur had fucked his chances with Merlin and he’d never felt angrier with himself. Arthur wanted to curl into a ball and never emerge. “I can’t keep floating about and pretending I’m ok with having these little bits of you because I’m not. I want more than this. I want more than-” Arthur’s heart rose up again, the pieces melding back together so quickly he felt his ribcage squeeze. That was such a stock thing to say and still, it fit him. It fit them.

“Merlin-”

“- and you don’t want that and I get it. It’s okay. But I-”

Arthur pulled Merlin in and kissed him again, gently this time. He gave Merlin every chance to pull back and shove Arthur off and tell him to fuck off. But Merlin didn’t and Arthur had never been so fucking happy in his life because this was *everything* Arthur wanted. Merlin smelt of smoke and they were both freezing and the bench was rock hard beneath them but Arthur had never, ever had everything so good and so right like this beneath him. He leaned over, pinned Merlin down against the bench and he was probably crushing him, but Merlin grinded himself up and he was kissing back and-

“Arthur-”

“I like you, Merlin. I really fucking like you.” Merlin’s eyes blew wide in response. Arthur could feel his whole body shivering but the fresh air had sobered him up. He kissed Merlin’s cheek bone, eyelids, jaw, he moved to suck on Merlin’s neck enough to mark him. Usually he didn’t mark Merlin in places people would see, didn’t feel as though he had the right. But now Arthur wanted everyone to know, wanted Merlin to look in the mirror and know, how much Arthur liked him, how he belonged to Arthur. “I like you so much.”

“Arthur-”

“I like your stupid little jokes. I like the way you smell even if it’s of smoke. I like your dirty texts. I like this hideous jacket that you keep wearing that doesn’t even fit you-”

“Hey!”

“I mean, you wore it to prom, Merlin.” Arthur was laughing more than seducing now. Merlin was still pinned beneath him but he wasn’t trying to wriggle away, even as Arthur stopped the kisses. “You wore this old jacket that smells like smoke to actual prom- oomph!”

Arthur found himself falling to the ground, wind knocked from his lungs as he hit the grass. Merlin was still on the bench, wheezing and laughing so much he was probably struggling to breathe.

“Dick!” Arthur was struggling to speak himself. But he was smiling, his face hurt he was smiling so much, he wondered if he’d ever be able to stop. “You like me.”

Merlin stood up, then curled up beside Arthur on the grass. His face was split in half in a grin too.

“You like me more.” Merlin nudged Arthur. He pushed his head into the crook of Arthur’s neck, his arm wrapped round Arthur’s torso. They were on the grass, the wet soaking through their clothes and on their skin as the cold soaked in to their bones. Merlin’s breath came like mist as it fell from his lips, and not from a cigarette but just the chill. Merlin licked a stripe up Arthur’s neck and squeezed his arm again, probably looking for a reaction.

“Maybe.” It wasn’t the answer Merlin had expected, hell it wasn’t even the response Arthur had expected. It felt right, though.

“Are you trying to make me start an argument? Should I say I like you more, then you say it back, then I say it, then you-”

Arthur pushed himself up into a press up position, looming over Merlin again.

“You are full of clichés. It’s a problem.” 

“You love it.” Merlin was teasing again, and he sat himself up to kiss Arthur, wrapped his hands round Arthur’s neck and used his weight to tug Arthur back on top of him.

‘Yeah.’ Arthur thought. ‘Maybe I do.’

**Author's Note:**

> Ah Ok hope it's alright ish at least?? I know it's far from perfect but I felt so bad for not posting in ages I figured I should just do it
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments and kudos, I live for the apple sauce


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